since he just got relased out of the army this year, because of his drinking.
dishonorable discharge? then how did he get a pension?
{ETA I see it was severance pay (for a few months in a hotel)}
If you decide to see him for breakfast, ask him what HE plans to do about HIS alcohol addiction. It all belongs to him, and it is up to him to find a rehab or a detox to help him get sober. Getting sober is only the first step in a process of growth for him.
Learn what you can about codependency, read Mellody Beatties books.
Try to find an alanon meeting nearby, face to face help is so wonderful.
While he searches for the end of his misery, you can learn to live a better life just for you.
Beth
He is 39, has had many many chances to get sober and learn about recovery, but has yet to grasp the ability to STAY STOPPED.