There is life after alcohol, a good one but you need a program. I am coming up to 7 months sober and am enjoying a good sobriety with the help of this forum and AA.
I suggest you find a program that suits you.
Good on you for the 4 months sober. Your post worries me your sobriety seems a bit shaky, perhaps you could start a new thread and really talk about what is going on in your life at the moment.
I would hate it if you lost that 4 months, weird isn't it, I don't even know you but your sobriety is so important to me.
Let us help you to look at what is going on and how you could perhaps change some things to make for a happier and healthier sobriety.