I definitely agree with Anna that we need to learn to love ourselves before we can give our love to another.
I also know I've put all my energy into relationships before when I needed the energy myself - and I REALLY needed all my energy when I was trying to stay sober.
I'm not going to tell you what to do tho - you know this man and the relationship better than any of us do - I do think counselling is pretty good suggestion though
D