Nicam, you are welcome to rant anytime you want, I will be glad to listen.
I am working with my therapist right now on building my self esteem, working on years of physical and verbal abuse by my parents and ex-wife.
She has given me exercises which include replacing negative thoughts with positive statements and repeating these positive statements 7 tmes a day for 21 days.
They include things like:
Replace I am a bad person with I am a good person
Replace I derseve to be treated like dirt with I deserve to be happy
Replace I am stupid with I am intellegent
Replace I don't deserve to be loved with I deserve love
It seems woefully simple to me but I have just started this so I cannot tell you if it will be successful or not but I am going to do my best to banish these bad thoughts.
Counseling and anti-depressants have been a godsend for me, they helped me find my way out of the dark.
I hope you can find your way out of the dark also, please keep trying, if you need to talk please let me know, I will also be there if you need some propping up or the always popular vurtual bear hug.
Best of luck to you,
Bill