Old 12-18-2011, 01:59 PM
  # 90 (permalink)  
DrivenHeart85
Always, Never & Forever
 
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Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: Midwest
Posts: 313
I guess I don't get wound up with the AV anymore. Whenever it pops in my head I just kind of watch it. I don't think "Oh, it's that evil hideous Beast up to its no good tricks again, I must destroy the thought!!!!" I just let it float through because I know it has no power, it just "is". It floats into my conscious, maybe toys with my emotions a bit and then floats back out...nothing to get concerned with. I used to flip out about it and quickly name all the reasons why I don't want to drink but I'm an unconditional non-drinker now so these thoughts would have no bearing even if they presented a rational case...well except for the weird "what if" cases that my head makes up about life or death scenarios...like being trapped on an island with only alcohol as sustenance or gun to the head kind of stuff. lol But anyway, I see the Beast as a piece of me that's functioning just as it should but since I can't tell it to undo what I taught it to do through all of my drinking, that's why there's now a conflict. I can't just send it a memo that I helped it develop a drive for poison and that it needs to stop it's job now...that's just not an option. It's kind of like a belly button...it had a use once, but now it's just there. LOL
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