Quotes from "Addict in the Family" by Beverly Conyers
Quotes from "Addict in the Family" by Beverly Conyers
Wow, how I wish I had read this book years ago...but, who knows, maybe I found it when I was finally ready to "hear" the words.
A few quotes I have found that have helped me:
* "Detachment...is simply a way for individuals to reestablish the distinction between themselves and their addicted loved one."
* "At first detachment is hard. It feels like loss. It feels like failure. It is neither. It is a simple recognition that the addict's problems and struggle are not our problems and struggle. We can offer support, encouragement, and love, but we cannot live another person's life, only our own."
* "Letting go of expectations is fundamental for recovery for families. Only then can we stop projecting and worrying about the outcome of things. We should also not expect that people will or won't behave in a particular way. Many of us live on a roller coaster of hope and disappointment, fear and relief, as we try to predict what the future will bring to our addicted loved one."
* Conyers quotes Al-Anon literature: "In nature there are no punishments or rewards. There are consequences."
* She goes on to say: "When families help addicts to avoid the consequences of their actions...the families are depriving addicts of an opportunity to grow. Likewise, when families are able to step back and let events follow their natural course, they are giving their loved ones a chance to learn valuable lessons...by letting their loved ones feel the pain of addiction, families are leaving the door to recovery wide open."
This is what our fellow posters have been saying as well.
Here's what I say today: Today I have clarity. Today I feel strong. Today I am taking care of ME.
Love and hugs to all of us!!
Susan