JenT1968: Everything you said is exactly how I feel! And I expect I also won't regret it - I so look forward to getting my own place and some PEACE for once.
I can't believe I'm actually emailing divorce lawyers today. I'm re-reading my journal from the last couple years and I sound like a broken record!....except this time I'm not trying to force him to change, I'm just done with him and this relationship. I'm trying to let go of all the hopes I had for our marriage that I realize would probably never come true.
I'm realizing that what I thought was love from him for me was actually neediness. I realize now that he doesn't support me in the things that are really important to me in life, it's like he sees me as a thing he needs to take care of him and make him feel better. So much clarity!
Now if I can just get through Christmas. I don't want to do a bunch of explaining to all the family about what's going on so I'll just wait til after. I can't wait for this stupid holiday to be over.
Thanks so much everyone!