No need to apologize, yu had to get 'this out.'
I am afraid that I have come a bit further than you in that when I get that type of reaction in myself I change about a person I change course.
I don't know, it may just be that her insistence in the past on you divorcing may have left a very bad 'taste' in your mouth.
Maybe check out some new counselors. Try one and if that one doesn't seem to fit, try another.
You gave been moving forward now for a couple of years and I think you can 'trust your gut' and it seems your 'gut' is saying 'uh uh' 'not this one.'
J M H O
Love and hugs,