[QUOTE=kittenkaboodle;3206470]
I'm trying to save myself now, since I'm not able to save her. She calls me every few days, and it takes everything to not take her calls. I told her that I will support her 110% if she chooses life, but I won't be there to help her die.
I don't understand why she chooses drugs and hanging around homeless, drug addict criminals over her safe, clean home and family. /QUOTE]
At this point, she does not have much choice. Addiction controls her brain and demands she protect and sustain it. Just when we moms think our kids have reached their rock bottom, so many just keep on digging.
Originally Posted by
kittenkaboodle 
Do you think that I shouldn't let her live with me? Do you think that making her leave was the best thing? Her addiction has caused me severe hair loss, sleep problems and anxiety attacks. My ex thinks that I should let her come home, so I can "manage" her addiction. I told him that he's an idiot and has no understanding of addiction.
Your assessment of him and the situation is spot on. Maybe he should bring her into his home and give managing his daughter's addiction his best shot.
Originally Posted by
kittenkaboodle
My biggest fear is if she dies and I didn't do everything in my power to prevent it from happening.
If our love could cure them, none of us would be here. We don't have power over other people. All the money in the world, rehab and treament opportunities will not make a dent, unless the addict is 150 % committed to and responsible for their own sobriety and even then, it's a long hard road.
Come what may, know in your heart that you have already done everything possible and then some. She is living her life as she see fit to do.
Know that my daughter, now 23, was in a similar spot at 19 as your daughter.
I almost bankrupted myself emotionally, physically and financially trying to save/fix her. I lost massive amounts of hair and came down with Shingles- likely my body's reaction to stress I imposed on myself. Accepting I was powerless over her and addiction was humbling. I eventually chose to save myself, the only person I control.
Know that while it seemed impossible at the time, my daughter eventually decided on her own she was done with dope. Thus far, she has remained done. Tomorrow will take care of itself.