Hi Meggy,
Even if you don't feel comfortable yet going to an Al-Anon meeting, I hope that you will continue to read the threads and post here about any questions you may have.
It sounds as though you and your husband have reached a sort of "stand off" when it comes to his drinking, and that you are just waiting for the other shoe to drop. He may drink again, he may not, and I understand the tension and anxiety that this can cause for you.
I have learned that I can be happy, that my life can continue with peace and joy, whether the alcoholics or addicts in my life are drinking/using or not. Detachment with love is the gift that you can give yourself, too.