I think back and it was a kick in the gut to think about never drinking again or that party or that feeling. 20 years last I'm so glad I'm still sober. I think it was about 18 months sober when I really found what living sober is all about in other forms/ways. Now once in a while I think sure it would have been nice but today I want to be ME without some substance. It is a growth and a new light everyday of feeling and enjoying life. I don't care for it and every once in a blue moon do I think hey it would be nice... But the reality of it is I wouldn't give my sobriety up for a few illusional moments of being someone I'm not.
David