Divorce - update
It has been a while since I have posted, but we agreed (oh I decided) that I would file for divorce in January - we are going to file our taxes together and take the money out of that to hire a lawyer. Assuming it goes smoothly, then it won't cost to much and will be done quickly. He doesn't seem to want to argue about it - at least right now - but I know him and how things change. He doesn't want his "stuff" to be public, so he is willing to pretty much give me the amount the support calculator specified, plus no overnights with the kids due to his drinking. Please know it is not that I want to keep my kids from him at all - but he drinks at night, and has driven with them, and has not woken up in emergencies and they are 3 and 1 and unable to take care of themselves. I AM SO READY for this to be done. Scared a little, yes, but so done with the drama. We have been seperated for I think 2 1/2 years, before I even gotten pregnant with our son. I am ready to move on. I actually have been thinking about going out and meeting people...not for a relationship....but just for friendship etc. It feels good to feel this way. I hope that it goes smoothly, but I have a funny feeling as we get close to it all, he will become more agressive. Someone recently asked me why I was still married to him, and why I "let" him abuse me still. Truth is, and I realized this for the first time when I was talking to them - that I am scared of what he might do.....the drunk him is very irrational and scary - the sober one isn't much better. However, that said I am ready to do what needs to be done....just thought I would give everyone a little update.