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So I haven't gone nc, but I have limited communication to a minimum. After the prethanksgiving binge that caused him to call my parents house and make a total jackass of himself and keep everyone up all night I have answered a few texts and talked to him on the phone a few times. I have stuck to the decision that I don't want to see him.

Tonight my daughter has a recital with her sign language group. He texted and asked if he could come. It is at the church where my dad is pastor. It is open to the public, so I hope he respects the no, this is my daughters big night.

He has also asked if he could come to church with me. This one really bothers me, because it seems so wrong to deny his desire to go to church at first, however,

When we first started dating, drove 4 hours every weekend to see me. On Sunday's we went to church before he went home. He hadn't attended many services in many years before going with me. We discussed that when I made the move, he would go with me there.

After I moved, he went a few times. As alcohol started to rule our home, he stopped going. I took the kids and went by myself, while he slept off hangovers or started drinking early.

After I left and he went to rehab, he told me he was going to the church, even telling me that he was taking his son.

In august, his son was here for a week visiting with ex's mother. He spent a Saturday night with me and went to services. I asked him if he still had the same teacher for youth group and he (8 year old) told me that he hadn't been there since I left.

He moved back up here in September. Its our hometown, his mom lives here and he got a job here (he had been fired there). He has "tried" to stay sober which generally lasts a few weeks and ends with a binge.

When I said no, he couldn't go to church with me, I reminded him that there are plenty of churches he could go to, including the one he grew up in, beside his moms house. Asking to come here just seems to be a way to test my boundaries.

I'm Glad I learned to say no