Hhmmm...without trying to sound harsh or judgmental here...seems as if instead of directly communicating with her, your feelings are coming out sideways in a more passive-aggressive way. I would suggest taking some time with yourself to work on letting those feelings go. Detach from the situation. Don't let your mind go there anymore. When it does, bring yourself back to the present.
We can't control others, but we can control ourselves and our own emotions and reactions to situations.