Defining oneself as a "non-drinker" is taking that to the next level, removing the future intent. For some crazy reason, a lot of people in the early stages of quitting drinking seem to think it makes them feel better to hold that future door open. To me, that's a limbo state of slow torture, waiting until I can be "normal" again, i.e. a "moderate drinker". It took me 15 years of trying to make that attitude work before I finally figured out how illogical that was.
I am brand spanking new to this (day 3), and fall exactly into that category. My current objective is to continue to break the the routine of drinking every night. Because this is so new to me, I haven't yet encountered the negative consequences that may come my way if I leave the door open to the possibility of being a "normal" drinker down the road. I'm not talking about going on a 3 day binge, but just sharing after dinner drinks while catching up with old friends. I will be on a family ski trip in that situation right after the holidays, where I can imagine this would come up.
I am not posing this question to be flip, or disrespectful, but is moderation not an option at all? Maybe not, but I haven't given it a chance, so I don't personally know. There are amazingly intelligent posts by TU and failedtaiper among others that suggest it's not. However, I see it in my own household where my wife will have a glass of wine with friends, and not finish it.
Right now, I do know that if I have a drink at 5:00 pm, that certainly will not be the last drink of the day, because the Beast will be out of the cage, and I will continue to drink until bedtime. I suppose the complete abstinence approach does save the drinker from having to decide each and every day whether this is a drinking day, or an abstinence day, which over time could get very tedious.
I realize I am on a "sober recovery" site, which would obviously not advocate moderation, so I apologize if I have been inappropriate by suggesting it as a possibility. I am still trying to learn how best to accomplish my goals of personal growth, and providing a healthy and happy atmosphere for my family.