Dear mindfullysober,
First of all welcome to the SR family, second, you are not alone, if you need to talk I will be here for you, I am so glad you are not drinking today, keep up the good work.
I know what you are going through, my mother has been an alcoholic for almost my whole life, she has been hospitalized twice in the last 18 months for drinking related heart issues.
You have got to either ignore her comments or go no contact, you need to come to terms with the fact that her drinking is not your fault, and it is not in your control.
The hardest thing for me to do was just admit that I just could not change the situation no matter what I did, I finally just let go, it feels so much better.
If she calls threatenting to kill herself just call the police, maybe they can get her into a psychiatric facility on 72 hour observation.
Best of luck to you, if want to chat, vent, or just need a hug, let me know.
Bill