Tuffgirl

I remember the dark day last January when I found this forum. It seems amazing that almost an entire year has gone by and what my Mom promised me at the time has happened (damn she is a smart woman!). I can look back and realize not only did I survive but my life has turned out better than I could imagine back then.

My girls are healthy and happy...sure we have the trivial teenager issues but its not anything I can't handle. My oldest had the best 18th birthday this month! Her Dad flew up here to surprise her at school...we had the whole thing set up beforehand...it was awesome! And I learned that one cupcake per teenager is not enough! It was bittersweet to be doing that again for her, given it will be the last time I bring her cupcakes to school. And she bought a car with her own money and her Dad financed it with her so she will make the payments each month. She is so proud of herself! And I am proud of her Dad, for doing such a wonderful thing for our daughter. He's fallen down in the Dad department many times, and this was a major step back in the right direction.

My promotion came through and was approved last week. Right before my 40th birthday, which was in itself the best birthday present ever. I am still pinching myself about it - its an amazing HUGE step in my career. HUGE!

My house is warm and cozy and my bills are paid. The dogs are happy, and the puppy just got spayed so she's been a bit more calm than usual while she heals. We've got tons of snow and it is gorgeous outside. I cooked a kick-a** turkey this Thanksgiving - has anyone brined one before? AMAZING! And I got to spend the rest of the day sledding with my nephews.

And lastly, my RAH and I have reached a - well, I am calling it the "stay of execution" - and setting the divorce papers aside. Calling a truce. Stopping the madness of hurt feelings and anger to simply approach our relationship in a calm, realistic fashion. We are meeting with a new marriage counselor on Monday; its the one thing we haven't tried since last winter and he was so newly sober and I was so stinking angry that it was an epic fail. I don't know how I feel about it all - but instead of dwelling on it and obsessing daily, I am choosing instead of focus on the rest of my life and view this situation as one where "more is to be revealed".

Life is good. And I can't tell you all how great it is to say that out loud and mean it this time. My life is really good and I can handle whatever comes my way. It is really true - the statement that what doesn't kill you makes you stronger.

Happy holidays, all! May you find some peace and serenity during this holiday season, even if you have to force your way to it. I am putting the figurative bubble around my life this month and not letting anyone or anything wreck my serenity and Christmas spirit. And I am truly thankful to now have the tools in my tool box to be able to do that successfully and appropriately.

Peace! ~T