Keep getting memories of me and my ex (who died this year from alcoholic neuropathy) and all the good times we had. And getting the same loneliness I always feel when I think of him - we broke up years before he died, but he is my 8 year old's father, so stayed in contact.
Realised it is my AV, because the good times involved a lot of drink and drugs, and it was when we broke up that my drinking started in earnest. It's like it's trying to get me to feel the same way I used to, to remind me why I started drinking so much in the first place.
The loneliness isn't real. The relationship was horrible at the end. I think maybe our beasts found each other, like they say in the book, because it was almost like we were addicted to each other and couldn't leave each other even when we both knew we were a poisonous combination.
It's really sneaky. Also exceedingly chatty this morning in that half awake state I'm in for the half hour before I get up. As though it knows I'm not quite at full strength. Glad I caught it though, otherwise I would be feeling very sorry for myself right now!