I appreciate your taking the time to respond but your response would be more meaningful if you had a look at what I wrote.
1. You'll note he's actually been medically advised NOT to cut down on drinking, due to health risks, until he can be medically supervised. I mean, I saw and heard the doctor and counsellor say that. That means he is still drinking--incredibly--per doctor's orders. That's sort of the whole issue here.
2. And you'll note that the counselling service with the council is in fact advocating a long-term abstinence programme, which I mention above. They're not at all advocating controlled drinking in the long run.
Regarding being enmeshed: I mean, that's my whole quandary here. I wasn't getting involved at all until AH explained to me that on the one hand his counsellor was telling him not to quit alcohol on his own, but at the same time giving him a lot of tasks to complete before he could be admitted for medically supervised detox. He actually told me that for several weeks in a row before I began to take it seriously.
And even then I didn't quite believe that until I heard it from the counsellor directly. It just seemed too strange. And now the counsellor has in fact asked me to get involved.
Didn't I explain all of that above? Yes, I get that AA has helped people but I'm not going to go against medical advice and risk a stroke/heart attack for my husband because some nutty woman on the AA "help" line tells me to.