They say there are three steps to waking up to reality, recovering and moving past codependency...
Awareness
Acceptance
Action
It seems to me that you have spent a lot of time on the first two and not on the last. Now, it seems, you are finally ready for that step. It may have taken a while, but you got there and when you were ready, you took it. We are all susceptible to not being ready or willing to let go and change things, even when we know better...with the tools this forum and the stickies and research have given us, well at least me...but I catch myself constantly going back to old defenses and ways of thinking...because I want the person that I lost back - even though I know better. All I know is, every time that I think I'm in control and things with other people are going my way, I hit rock bottom all over again. The difference is, now I know why. I can't control them, and focusing on anyone other than myself for right now is just going back to my old (recent) codependent ways. Letting myself continue down that path my ruin the next relationship I'm in too, if I let it...The cold hard truth is, it doesn't matter what she (he for me) is doing, because only what you're/I'm doing matters in the present moment.
Sorry to see someone wrote bullsh*t - but sometimes we just need people to call us out on our crap! (there are many nicer ways to do it - like saying nothing changes if nothing changes).