To be honest, you do need some help. Going back to him after he tried to kill you with a meat clever is a sign that you are not mentally healthy.
Have you considered seeing a different therapist by yourself? As far as the meetings go, what are you afraid of....having to face your own demons? I am not a religious person, I am
spiritual one, and I found no issue with Alanon of Naranon meetings, I took what I wanted and left the rest.
I guess your current therapist said it all, if you are not interested in getting help for yourself, then just get divorced. Nothing will improve until you get healthy. Not my rules,
just how it works.
I wish I could give you some magic potion to drink and make it all go away, unfortunately,
to my knowledge, non exsists...recovery takes hard work and dedication.
Hopefully, this will all work out for you.