what makes you think i'm not willing or open to a recovery program? i am going to therapy as we speak. i am just not very open to a "sprirtual" one. you said its not religious yet the word "god" comes up an awful lot in the book that he reads from. (alanon book). so yes, to me that is religious. if i said i was an atheist would that make things clearer? i'm happy for those who got something out of it and learned to push aside their feelings towards their A's. i am just saying that alanon might not work for me......i guess there isn't a program out there for me...is that what everyone is trying to tell me? that its alanon or divorce??