i asked him to tell me in black and white....he said "get a divorce". is it that easy? why can't i just walk out?
You have made it clear that you aren't open and willing to a recovery program for YOU... so yes - in black and white - the two choices are stay and keeping getting what you're getting (a man who gets drunk and chases you with a meat cleaver) or get a divorce (and take YOUR issues with you).
Al-anon is not religious. There is no preaching or sermons. It IS a spiritual program where you will see how others who have lived with (or are currently living with!) alcoholism have learned to survive/thrive. If you haven't gone to a meeting, I suggest you give it a try.
The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. Maybe it's time to try something different?