I feel like nothing I say on here can be taken seriously, quite honestly because I dont know if I can take myself seriously. I slipped up this weekend, woke up with the typical feelings of guilt and shame. And really was hard on myself. I ask myself, really? why do you forget about those feelings when someone offers you a drink? I am the hardest on myself. Probably way too hard, but I have always been that way, back to when I was a kid. I hate the person I see in the mirror today. I have to do this. I HAVE to stop all of the insane behaviors and really make the neccesary changes. I dont know if I am scared of being a dry drunk or what. But why does that bother me more than risking being the town drunk?? I gotta get my priorities straight and move forward. This too is another day 1. And I certainly hope the last!!! Im going to take a suggestion from another post I read and write down all of those feelings, and refer to them when I want to drink. Hopefully THAT will work in keeping me in check. ughhh...