On august 11 my divorce was final. My x defaulted on the divorce and signed the papers agreeing to 2 hours supervised visits. Since then he has seen my son 3 times. Always canceling or no callon no show. On friday he texted me asking for previous year tax returns. I asked him why, and he never responded. Im scared he is trying to take my son away. But in reality, I have everything documented and I know he has no money. He couldn't afford a lawyer. But, he is so secretive it makes me very uneasy he is up to something. I hate feeling so unsafe. I just worry about the safety. Of my son. He has creditors calling, barely can give me money, is still wearing the same shoes from years ago...he is more then likely is filing for bankruptcy. Why the secrecy?
I am just so confused. I know he is in pain because during his last visit my son didn't want anything to do with him. And of course he blames me. It was suggested to tell my son healing stories about his father so that he knows his father still loves him. I told my x I was doing this to help him feel better. And maybe his blame and anger towards me will subside.
I don't know. This is just so hard. Im so confused. I know he is an addict, but it is so hard to understand what he is thinking and feeling since he is so secretive and untrustworthy. No contact has been really hard for me. I am a codie. I just don't know what my x is up to, and it is so nerve wracking. I know he isn't clean. I know he doesn't have money. I know he is in pain that our son wants nothing to do with him. Why do I feel like he is all the sudden not an active addict? Like all the sudden he is going to pull himself together and poof, take my son. I don't want my son exposed to him and his degenerate friends.
Im so tired of the secrecy and distrust. I wish he would just act like an adult.
I know this disease is progressive. I am hoping he will disappear. And I will keep working on no contact.
Sigh. He is a thorn in my side!
thank you for listening. This site has been my sanity.