A sense of humor is our friend when we are weaving life with a recovering A!
When my A starts a monologue that is obviously rooted in old A stinkin' thinkin' I say "wait this is so profound and deep I MUST preserve it's wisdom for later"... and I dig out my cell phone and get the recorder feature all dialed up and start recording!
Its amazing how effective this is at getting two parties to actually engage their brain before opening their mouth because playback can be a really harsh taskmaster when we are supposed to be trying to get to a higher plane directed by our HP!
Make a truce and suggest this strategy and then review the tapes and breakdown where the relationship could benefit by different communication skills and strategies ... it has worked well for us and when that doesn't work I play the tapes for our pastor and counselor (just kidding but it would be fun in a devilish sort of way).