Hello Steve1840....
What a powerful post! (It's one that I can totally relate to)
My love and kindness was totally taken for granted too, by my former boyfriend...
All I can remember is how weak I thought I was...
After reading your post, it made me realize how weak HE was...
Anyone who "gets off" on messing with someone's head is likely in a lot of emotional pain themselves....
Not to say that you're not in a tremendous amount of emotional pain yourself, but don't you deserve someone who you can be vulnerable to that won't take advantage of your feelings in such a cruel way?
Just becuase your former girlfriend chooses not to think more highly of herself, that doesn't mean you have to do the same thing.....
Of course, it's your choice entirely, but I know I truly started living again, when I changed my number....
The day finally came two years ago that I was no longer going to be a hostage to my own phone, never knowing who was going to be on the other end that day....
Dr. Jeckyl or Mr. Hyde?
Whether she sets herself free or not from her addiction, isn't time for you to set yourself free from whatever it is that's allowing you to hold on to someone who is clearly toxic for you?
Remember, it is OK to care about her well-being, just not at your expense...
Peace to you and best wishes....
Diva 76