Missy I know this is not what you need at a time when things seem to be changing positively with you. Yours is a biggie. I have discovered over the last six months that the world will not take a break, and wait while I get it together. Somehow though with the right spirit things can come together regardless.
My dad was sick and we thought his heart was going to give out two months in to my recovery. It was a test for sure. Then I was given more responsibilities at work for no more reward.
I want to tell you how the change started for me in the first few weeks. I started deliberately noticing and acknowledging reflections and shadows as a way of distracting myself from the way I was feeling, thoughts of alcohol etc. I started posting on a gratitude thread daily. Carrying these two acts out set me on a new path. Now I live a life where the moon watches over me, and I am more at peace.
Do things differently and different things will happen.