I am really sorry for all that you have gone through and the bottom you had to hit. Because, it sounds like you hit it REALLY hard and that is never an easy thing.
God has been trying to get my attention since '09 about my drinking. And, everytime something would happen I would stand back up and ask for another one. It was like God started hitting me with a 2x4 ... then a 4x6 and then a 6x6. The lessons only got harder and the consquences tougher. I am now dealing with them. But, I am doing it sober. And, I am grateful for my recovery.
Don't ever give up because you are worth it. Even through it all... when I would pray I keep thinking that God was punshing me... but, in truth God was attempting to show me how great my life can be without drinking. I keep hold on to that thought... and I am grateful for it.
If you need any help at all let me know. We are all here for one another and SR is a great resource.
Take care!
Saliena