is this our dream guy we are describing...who we are involved with currently....or who we typically get invovled with?? I can't tell. But I'll give it a shot.
Past guys: i was into the chase...so, macho and unavailable guys is who I went after. Someone everyone else wanted or someone that my mother disapproved of. A "bad" boy I guess. Strange or not so strange, considering I was the "perfect" child. So when my ex asked me to marry him I said yes even tho my heart said no. He was the only "normal" guy I had ever dated. He was the only stable one. So I figured this was as good as it would get. Better say yes to this one before I say yes to someone like those past bad-boy losers I had been dating.
My ex: I didn't realize he was a control freak. Critical to the nth degree. My self esteem plummeted. He also was cold as the arctic. SEx life sucked. No intimacy. Actually all my friends and family think he is gay and is living a hidden life. That would explain a LOT. So, see I did choose a totally dysfunctional guy after all. MAN is my radar good!!
My latest relationship: (first real one after divorce) ok now we are on to alcoholics. Oh, good. He is a bad boy without a doubt. Cusses, smokes, drinks. Macho as heck. Good looking. Funny (when he isn't drunk and repeating the same story over and over). Fun to be with. Loving. VERY available intimately. I have realized it is important to me to hug, kiss, hold hands, make love. I am craving intimacy in a relationship. But he was so insecure, jealous, paranoid even. And again........he attempted to be controlling.
SO........alone again. Gonna stay that way until I figure this out. Gonna stay alone until my self esteem rises up and gain confidence back and figure out how to be attracted to and attractive to healthier individuals. Don't want to save anyone else.