My husband went to rehab and when he came out I let him right back as well. We are now pretty much where we started. I think I also expected this new person. He didn't drink but also seemed so out of all aspects of life. I did not do a lot of research or work on my self. Now, we are seperated again by my choice because he started acting like an A again even though he claims he was not drinking. I wish I had done my research the first time. Reac codependency books, asked questions on this site, and attended Alanon. I think I did expect too much out of him at first. I forget that he was still in that stage of just figuring out what to do not to drink and really was not ready for all the healing I was trying to do to our marriage.