Originally Posted by
wavygreensea 
BTW: I soooo understand the parents expecting you to just accept him and continue to give him the benefit of the doubt and eternal love. Struggled with that for years. I think they need to be strung up by their toenails for insisting you do anything with YOUR life that relieves their guilt in the situation.
Word to that!
LTD: I had my own counselor for awhile but stopped going because the money just isn't there. The counselor even had us on a sliding scale fee per session, but since the baby is born and I'm paying for daycare, some things had to go. My mental health really shouldn't be one of the things to go, however.
AH is planning to get a job after IOP ends, which is probably around the first of the year. He is trying to get his unemployment reinstated, but it could be three weeks before that happens. We are, quite literally, one day at a time financially. I don't think that's how that saying is supposed to work.
So on this front, he is doing what he can do. I am frustrated with the timing and all that, which is adding to my anxiety.
WGS: This is what I'm struggling with. I can't tell if what I really need is some reassurance from him, or whether I just need to concentrate on my side of the street. What I feel, though, is that when I backed off and trusted him to do what was right last time, I really, really got burned. I feel like I can only give him the space and distance he needs in these early days if he can own some of the lies and manipulations, the unfinished pre-rehab business, and reassure me that all that is over for now.
That. Is that unreasonable? This is where I fear my codependent tendencies are coming into effect.