I am so sorry for your loss. I did not lose my AH but did lose my infant son at 3 months due to a birth defect in his lung that we did not know about. I do believe this is when I really lost my AH in many ways. Do not think you would be better with him. That daughter needs you. It never goes away. It does not stop hurting, but you will learn to deal with this and you will keep being an amazing person. HUGS to you. Many prayers in the days to come. talk and tell your story!