For me, though, I can say that I wanted to drink myself into oblivion because I was mad at my parents. I was acting out against myself to hurt them. That was when I was a teenager. Then when I was an adult I wanted to drink myself into oblivion because I was mad at my wife. I was always hurting myself to try to show others how they were hurting me.
I would hurt myself all the time by drinking. The end result was injury to myself physically, emotionally, occupationally, psychologically. I tend to believe that my self destructive attitude is more of a root cause. And for me, I am not really chasing my tail. Rather, I am expressing some things that I have been thinking about for a long time.
Just cutting out the drinking, while continuing with the self destructive and self hating attitudes won't let me grow as much as I can. My parents taught me how to hate myself and mistreat myself. My stepfather taught me what a mess up I was by his constant insults and name calling and other physical abuse. My mother taught me to mistreat myself through her role modeling. My mom let my stepdad mistreat her all the time. My mom would always put herself last. She would always take the leftovers. So many of us so called "alcoholics" are really first and foremost victims of abuse, just consider myself, or Dominica, or even yourself for example.
One realization that was really freeing for me was when I read a psychoanalytical book that suggested that as adults we are living out what our parents told us what we were through their words and ACTIONS. It helped me a lot to realize that I was just living out my parents expectations.
I have a friend that always tells his perspective employer that he is a recovering alcoholic during his interviews. He never gets the job. I wonder why ??? If he would characterize himself in a better way then he would probably have a job already. And yes, he was a victim of abuse too.
I don't think it's really worthwhile to label oneself a victim either, but it is important to process the truth. That's why I don't think a person has to constantly call themselves an alcoholic in public all the time ei. "My names cuyootoo and I am an alcoholic" I think a better way to publicly introduce oneself on a regular basis would be "My name is cuyootoo and I am worth taking care of" or something like that.
Most people in aa introduce themselves in a negative way to people first and foremost as an alcoholic, especially on a regular basis in public. I think that's psychologically harmful. Furthermore, the reason I think they are publicly humiliating themselves on a constant basis is because the have a low self esteem and feel comfortable playing the role of an "alcoholic" in recovery or not. I say they feel comfortable hurting their reputation on a constant basis, not because it feels good for them, but because it feels normal for them to mistreat themselves.