He's Gone
I haven't written in a while, and the last time I wrote I asked everyone what it was going to be like when my husband who suffered from cirrhosis and still drank passed away. Well, now I know. He died on Friday, November 4th at 5:00 am. His kidneys failed. It was the saddest moment of my life. I was in the hospital room with him as well as his 21 year old son and our 12 year old daughter. I watched him struggle to breathe and they gave him enough morphine to keep him calm and comfortable and he just quit breathing. I told him how much I loved him and watched him just simply stop struggling and die. My daughter is so devestated. He wasn't awake and I just hope he knew we were there and how much we loved him. Although he drank and could be quite an ass he was still the funniest and could be the kindest man I ever knew. I will miss him and love him forever. My daughter adored him. She has written a letter to him and my heart is not only breaking for myself but for her as well. I almost feel that if she wasn't here I would rather be dead too so I could be with him. Is there anyone out there that feels this sad? Is this going to get any better? Anyway, he's gone. The vodka won this one.