Originally Posted by Red42

Quit massive doses of Oxycodones on Oct 20. Absolutely miserable. But been thru drill before so body didn't react too badly at first them WHAM! Called my dr. She called in hydrocodone to ease w/d. Yup stupid. So now craving more than ever on day 2 without any opiates. I've suffered from RLS anyway n just want to add Magnesium helps. Didn't sleep for ten days more than couple hours at time. Sux. Started AA/NA meetings. Feel better after meetings but in small town so meetings scarce. Been down w a cold so no meetings. Finding myself just passing time. Struggling. White knuckling it. Stuck w two small kids adding to suffering. House a wreck but can't bring self to do ****. Is it ever going to get easier or better? Wonder if better off on pills least could cope n know f--- up thought. Everything seems impossible. Just want to runaway from my life until I feel like I did before pain killers ruled my world. The obsessing abOut them subsiding but craving there. Husband minimally supportive as he has own issues -right now his only concern is hunting leaving me hanging by a thread. Yet he has worked so hard deserves break. Just want to scream. And run. And use. But won't use. Can't. Afraid I will accidentally OD. That's the only thing keeping me from using honestly. Death. Put my body thru so much using then running out so wd until next refill. Need a freaking miracle. Maybe I am just meant to spend life as junkie or drunk (when can't get pills). Not trying to b on pity party role. Maybe am. Just want end to this suffering.