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Old 11-03-2011, 04:38 PM
  # 27 (permalink)  
wanttobehealthy
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Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: USA
Posts: 3,095
I am feeling super judgemental and am not sure how to get over myself right now...

I have no problem having a glass of wine or a drink if I wanted one... and I have no problem with others having the same and sitting and chatting or having an interaction that has far more to do with conversing than drinking.

But let the person I am with start drinking more than I am comfortable with and I feel like I'm going to self-implode...

Right now I think my resentments are getting to me in new ways... I don't feel angry per se but I am annoyed that I am so freaking hypersensitive to alcohol and others drinking and I am like this bc of being married to AH. So I am inclined to blame him for all that I am feeling (but I am not doing that bc I know it's my issue- not his)... I'm not going to do that and deep down I know it's not his doing. I chose to stay, I was the codie whose ego thought I could "save" him, I wanted to help him get well so I could have the life with him that I wanted... Not purely altruistic motives and I really did a number of myself (and my kids) in the process...

All of that said, I am sitting here tonight feeling irritated beyond belief that I am on such high alert about others drinking and I hate that bc it's uncomfortable and frankly, I'd prefer right now to not be phased by people being drunk...

Thanks for letting me ramble!
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