Originally Posted by
oakwood 
Then, sure enough, about 3 pm, WHAM, the decision is made, even without my knowledge, it seems. I think it's what the book describes as vertigo. SNAP, it's done and I'm just going through the actions I always do. it happens so quickly I don't even have a chance to recognize it.
Any suggestions?
Hmmm, I used to say the same thing about my relapses - but it applied to relapses after lengths of sobriety from 2-4 months. If this is happening daily, I would say you are maybe not being too aware of your beast's tendencies. For me, when I would claim "Bam, out of nowhere I drank after 4 months of sobriety with no urges leading up to the point" it did appear to come out of nowhere and by surprise....but if you know this is a pattern for you daily, I would think you should be able to tell yourself each morning something like: "The beast is going to try and get me to drink at 3pm and I am going to remember this and just observe The Beast but not act on anything". For me, what I realized in the end was that although there were no "urges" leading up to my relapses and that they seemed to come out of nowhere, I had some "beast-like" thinking going on beforehand that got me to a state of being very vulnerable to the drink.