You are right. Im trying to change. I moved out. I feel at peace in my house. I am doing it own my own. That makes me proud. I am reading here everyday. I have leared alot. I am slowly doing more for myself. Next week 2 days a week working out at least 1 meeting. and start yoga.. I am going to fill my time so I cant think of him all the time. I speak to my HP alot more than I have been. Its starting. I do walk away from him when he is mean and go home or send him home. We have 3 daughters together and a grand daughter too. I got to let go of the dream. I know that.