...of co-dependency yesterday and caught myself this time! *phew*
Damn, it is easy to fall back into the same old patterns. Staying on my new path can be challenging! I imagine it is similar to what the recovering A's feel...and how easy it is to go back to what we knew instead of stopping and
really thinking in a new life perspective.
I actually was trying to convince my stbxah why his thinking was distorted - jeez louise that is NOT my place - when he wants to leave me! And the crazy thing is...I don't want this in my life anymore either! I am getting nothing but craziness and pain from this man - and yet I fell back to the same old same old of trying to list all the reasons why this is crazy and a bad idea.
Here he was telling me in words all the reasons why he can't be married and I went
Yuck on me! I had to call back and ask that the conversation be recalled and to please file the dissolution papers this week. That was embarrassing, but worth it to stay true to myself this time. I need more than he has to give. And if someone wants to go -
LET THEM GO! I miss Madea's video - they took it off YouTube, damn it!
So even for those of us really committed to and practicing recovery tools, it is so easy to relapse. Only this time, it lasted about 2 hours before I caught myself and made it right again.
This morning I feel free to move forward now. Free to change direction and go be the real me...
It's about time!
Thanks for letting me share.
~T