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Old 10-22-2011, 10:11 AM
  # 20 (permalink)  
wanttobehealthy
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Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: USA
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Originally Posted by m1k3 View Post


it's usually because I have some unresolved piece of emotional baggage I am carrying around and its a reminder that I need to do some work on myself to clear it up.

I definitely know what it is that I need to resolve-- and you're absolutely right that that's what was largely at the root of my discomfort with mil's call... and it is something that I work on diligently. I find that my in laws are able to trigger those issues in me just as well as AH and my mother were able to. And frankly I've realized that a big piece of the solution "puzzle" is limiting or avoiding contact altogether with toxic people in my life.

I have readily accepted the role of scapegoat for most of my life (obviously as a kid it wasn't a choice and even as an adult I spent a long time believing I really was all the terrible things I was told but regardless, at some point I did make the choice to stay in abusive situations and I can't blame anyone but myself for that) and so, it's easy to let the insults and accusations stick. I know a stronger person might be able to hear it and brush it off but I haven't figured that out yet. So in the meantime I just am going to have NC with those who need to project their issues on to me rather than deal with them on their own.
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