A women said in my most recent meeting said that by keeping a foot in the past and another foot in the future she was pissing on the present. I like to think of it as ****ing on the present, but it works both ways.
Regardless, I know it's tough but by allowing the anniversary of any given thing to affect your present you are forfeiting the present to the past. The problem with that, of course, is that we don't live in the past and we don't live in the future-- we live in the present. Make the present a present to yourself.
Alanon helped me with this. I did it a lot, but I don't do it anymore.
Take care,
Cyranoak