Wow, you are really at a turning point! It sounds like you have a lot going on with your marriage as well as exploring how it is you go about quitting while also reacting to the issues you encounter to quitting.
If you do not feel comfy with AA, there is something called SMART Recovery that also has meetings (just not as frequently). Mine are held a few towns over so I don't run much risk of anyone I know seeing me there.
The thread on AVRT (here, on this board) has been really helpful to me. I don't subscribe to one philosophy wholly, but the concept of separating the addictive voice (the voice that told you that you could have a seizure so to go drink, for example) from the real you (the person who wants to quit) has been a very useful tool for me in dealing with thoughts to drink.
Stick around!