I can feel your frustration in that no matter my efforts in recovery, I still find myself getting triggered by the behaviors of others and I find myself stewing in the stirred up feelings too long. Granted, the stew is shorter after all my hard work on myself and I can usually see quite quickly the lesson in it, where I didn't detach, etc., but getting back to focusing on my day, my needs, and my life can be a struggle. I think, too, the fact that I can't just shrug it off and not keep thinking on it at all, ticks me off just as much as the initial triggering issue. ARRRG! I get the sense this is where you're at, too. You've got a great plan going for, but now wondering how to just let it go.
I've not yet figured a way out of this cycle for myself, I'm hoping one day that will come. Until then, I have to just wait for the storms to blow through when they swirl up.
You are not alone, friend.
Alice