When I was first married, a series of events would occur where I might say or do something "upsetting" that would result in theatrics and waterworks, and send my wife crashing into a binge, and and I would think "if I just hadn't..., everything would be normal now" and things wouldn't have descended into a downward spiral that ended with a binge. I came to realize over time though that as long as she was an active alcoholic, it really had nothing to do with me. As long as she was actively drinking, this kind of behavior was around the corner at any point in time and any reason given is merely an excuse.