I wish the best of luck to you. And don't leave us, you need support and people to talk to who understand your situation. Don't give up on yourself, you can get better, I know it. It takes change, support and time, but you don't have to stay this way. It's hard, I'm struggling with it too, but I won't give up hope. I know I can get better, but it's in MY hands. You need help from others but YOU are the deciding factor in whether you get better or not.