Hi yellowbirdy!
I'm so glad you posted. Change can be scary, no doubt... But change... Is a good thing. It sounds like you are making good progress on your recovery and moving towards a life of peace and serenity.
As for having someone to talk to... I felt so alone for so long. I went to meetings and saw all these people... But I was scared to death to ask for their numbers!!! What if they said no?!? I went for weeks thinking that I was never going to get any phone numbers unless I asked someone to sponsor me. Finally one day this July, I was facing surgery. I was even more scared of doing that alone... So I finally found the courage to approach a couple of women. I actually blurted out, "well, I have surgery on Monday and I'm scare to death. Please give me your phone numbers!!" much to my surprise, these women all turned and started hugging me, crying, writing down numbers, offering me food, and babysitting!! That was a huge turning point for me. I was no longer alone. I had a sheet with several names and numbers... And the first few times I had a crisis, I called, and called, and called until i talked to enough people to feel better!!
SR has been good for the really late night stuff, but nothing beats real life voices, hugs, etc! When I got a sponsor... Man, the recovery just took off
You're on the right road... Just keep putting one foot in front of the other!!
Shannon