View Single Post
Old 10-16-2011, 02:59 PM
  # 25 (permalink)  
CatsPajamas
Forum Leader
 
CatsPajamas's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: In my little piece of heaven
Posts: 2,870
Tuffgirl,

I'm sad you had to go thru this, but I'm also glad you got the experience. (let me explain) I've been stalked in real life (more than once, sadly) and also online. An XABF actually broke into my home and put key logger software on my computer and activated a webcam so he could know everything I was doing. Experiences such as that taught me a lot about boundaries, about accepting unacceptable behavior, about taking care of myself, and made my personal RADAR a whole lot stronger.

I'm a better, stronger and healthier person today as a result of my experiences. I take much better care of myself, and I surround myself with healthier people too. I make sure that a person's actions match up with his words. If not, I'm very cautious and careful about letting him (or her) into my inner circle.

It sounds to me like you've learned some of that too. I also learned that all I can control is my own behavior, and I don't let unhealthy people occupy much of my brain space. I choose to focus on all the good in my life instead. Sometimes I have to look for it, but it's there if I remember the things I'm grateful for.

As for keeping SR a safe place? We have a team of dedicated volunteers who make it a top priority 24/7 - that this should be a safe place to share, to vent, to explore options and find new and healthier ways of living. Please know that we take this stuff very seriously. SR was here for me when I needed it many years ago. I'll tell anyone who asked that a combination of Al Anon and SR saved my life. I promise you that I'll do my best to keep it a safe place... as will the rest of the mods here.

Hugs and love
Cats
CatsPajamas is offline