thanks, suki. i think, more than anything, it hurts because it's part of that dream i had for us which is now dead. i own my own house (which IS a home...a family home, to be exact) and we had talked A LOT about him moving in with me. this just hits home to me how little i meant to him and how quickly he has moved on. i'm still a mess, and he's out buying a freakin' house. ugh.