Tuffgirl

So this morning I got notified of a particular person stalking me here at SR. I also got that person's name, IP address, home address, and SR user names - yes plural - this person has two user name's here. Apparently this person is not the only one with mad cyber-stalking skills - our administrators here are also very adept at watching you right back and finding out who you are.

Who is this person? My stbx husband. How long has he been doing this? A long time. He also hacks into my email accounts and reads my private emails, then uses the information to catastrophize and judge me as a person.

I am amazed that I hold so much interest for him, considering he is divorcing me. I am also sad for the idea that it must be really hard to live in his head, being so suspicious and sneaky all the time, instead of being able to be humble and honest and forthright. This kind of behavior sure doesn't look like someone seriously committed to working his program. It looks like a sad, lost, crazy person.

So here's a note to my husband:

I can only imagine the depths of your fear of me, and I am continually amazed at the power you give me over your life. I don't want it, never did, and quite frankly would prefer you just go away and let me get on with my life. I really have had quite enough.

I will NOT hide from you on the internet. I will not stop posting here and sharing my ES&H with the friends I have made here over the months of membership. I am not ashamed of anything I've ever said here, and your behavior hurt me deeply enough to seek help for myself. This is where I get that help. I will NOT change my user name. You are free as anyone else to read whatever I post here. I will NOT mention here your user names, either, because I respect YOU as an individual, regardless of whether or not you have ever shown me the same respect in return.

You see, I live my life on my terms, based on my own personal values and ethics of personal conduct, and I don't give a damn what anyone else thinks of me, you included. I treat others as I want to be treated, even when I don't get the same in return. Because everyday I wake up - it is my own face staring back at me in the mirror. I am proud of the woman I am, and I have nothing to hide or run from, even knowing you are stalking me here.

I hope that you can use this place to find your own way, instead of using it to try to glimpse into my life when you were the one who shut me out to begin with. I will say a prayer for you that you find your own way to peace and serenity and let go of the insatiable need to stalk others from the periphery of their lives. That someday you can break down your own walls to really accept what others have to offer, because contrary to what you may believe, the world is truly filled with a lot of good people who genuinely care for you. Go live your own life. I am.

This will be the only time I publicly acknowledge you here, and that I know you have been watching me for a long time, and now, so do the SR administrators.